Despite what he’d said, James took longer than ten minutes at headquarters. They got in and Bradley started writing up the report, even as James was saying he could do it, that Bradley had worked a shift and a half already and should go get some rest if he wasn’t going to come have dinner. 

And fuck, here he was, doing the exact thing Bradley had yelled at him for and that everyone else apparently agreed with. But instead of yelling at him again, Bradley just looked up from his seat at the computer bank.

“You came in on a sick day,” he retorted, then turned back to the report, ignoring James.

Then McGovern needed to meet. James was about to take that call, but Amelia put a hand on his arm. “I’m in charge right now,” she said. “I can handle a call with McGovern. And if he doesn’t like that it’s me, then tough. Go home, I’ll meet you there.”

He still hesitated until Graham came over to where he was standing by the office door. “You’re seeing Meredith?” he asked, an arm partially around James’s back without touching him as they walked.

“Yeah, she’s coming over for a little bit.”

“When?”

“Now. She’s probably on her way.”

“Then you should probably go home.”

“Yeah, I’ll just-”

They were by the front door. Graham had managed to lead him here without James even realizing it. He laughed as James frowned, trying to sort out how he’d fallen for it. “Go,” he said.

James wasn’t going to win. And why did he even want to stay? Meredith was coming over. He walked out, going straight past his car, which was parked along the sidewalk in front of headquarters. The idea of controlling the car, even for the minute it would take to get home, was too much to even consider. It was still hot out, he was still filthy, but the misting rain felt good on his skin as he walked down the street.

And there was Meredith, standing outside of his apartment building. She’d meant it, she’d actually shown up. And she was holding what looked like a couple bags of takeout. 

Meredith grinned as James walked up. “What happened to you?” she asked, taking in his disastrous appearance. 

“So much,” he said, taking in her deep red hair and wide smile as he forced himself not to collapse into her arms. “It is so nice to see you.”

He let them into the building, trying not to let his apprehension show about the food. Burritos from Taqueria del Norte were one thing, he knew that place and he’d ordered them. And he trusted Meredith. But-

“If you want to go take a shower, I’ll get these set up,” Meredith said. 

She looked around as James let them into the apartment. “Did Graham move out?” she asked.

“Yeah, him and Madelyn got a place a couple weeks ago,” James said. “Amelia’s living here now.”

“Oh, great,” Meredith said, looking around still. “Good for them.”

“Yeah, it’s not the same without an entire wall of DVDs, is it?” James said with a laugh. “We’re still getting things set up.”

“No, it’s good,” she said. “God, my place in Australia still isn’t fully set up.”

“How long are you here for?”

“Just a few days,” she replied. “The wedding fell right on a week off. But I’m going on a quick road trip with some friends before I fly back.”

“That’s great,” James said, unsure exactly what he was feeling right now, beyond filthy. 

He excused himself to go shower, scrubbing with some of Amelia’s nice body wash. Meredith probably wasn’t looking for anything, she had her Australian boyfriend and was just here to catch up and say hi. But that didn’t mean James couldn’t look and smell as good as possible for the little while she was here. 

And besides, he told himself as he rinsed the floral foam off his chest, the last time he’d attempted to hook up with someone had ended in a panic attack. So as tempting as that was to reenact, maybe he needed to wait.

Though, as he scrubbed his hair with her equally nice shampoo, James thought about it. It hadn’t been the making out. They’d gone on for a while like that and James had been fine. Hell, he’d been great. But when Matt had touched his hair and the skin behind his ear, that was when it had gone wrong. So maybe all he needed to do was adjust things a little and he’d be totally fine.

It didn’t matter anyway, she had a boyfriend. He needed to stop thinking like that. If he wanted to try, maybe he’d go back to Marcy’s with Amelia, show her that she was still allowed in the city of Providence. Or maybe that Boston one that she and Bradley had gone to. That wasn’t what Meredith was here for, she was just here to say hi.

He rinsed his hair and got out of the shower, drying off before realizing he hadn’t brought any clothes into the bathroom with him. So he had no choice but to leave the bathroom with the towel around his waist, feeling a little ridiculous. But Meredith turned from where she was sitting on the living room couch and looked at him with an interest that surprised him. 

“You look good,” she said, standing up.

“I feel like hell,” James admitted.

“Do you want me to head out and let you get some rest?”

She was moving toward him now. “N-no,” James said, stopping with a hand gripping his towel in place. “Do you still…I mean, your boyfriend at school…”

“Not anymore.”

“No?”

“We broke up a few weeks ago. He wanted to get more serious and I just want to focus on school.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It is what it is. I’m fine with it. I wanted to see you and see how you were while I was home, but…”

She cupped James’s chin and his breath caught. “Is that okay?” she asked. 

He nodded, too conscious of her fingers and how close they were to his ear. “Are you alright?” Meredith asked.

James took her hand and shifted it just slightly, so that it was nowhere near his ear. “I think so,” he said. “I know it’s weird, but just don’t touch my hair. Or, um, or behind my ear.”

His face felt hot, and so did his chest. He waited for her to pull back in disgust. But, like Matt, she just gently kissed him.

James could have cried. But he just let himself go, holding her as her other arm slipped around him. Meredith kept her hand on his chin until she broke the kiss and looked up at him. “What do you want?” she asked.

He should want to sleep. His head hurt and he was so tired. He was only wearing a towel in the middle of the living room and Amelia could walk in at any second. Meredith was leaving again, they should just have some takeout and talk about movies and how their summers had gone.

His gloves from the other night -still stained with paint and marinara – were on the coffee table and he wondered at the ridiculousness of considering if he needed them right now. 

Instead of picking them up, he took Meredith’s hand in his. This wasn’t the first time he’d touched someone else. When he was at home, he had his gloves off almost all the time now. It was only outside the house that he still needed that protection. Her skin was warm and safe and nothing was going to get them here. 

“I want you,” he said.

Then he caught himself. “Not forever,” he amended. “I know you’re leaving and I know you don’t want that. But if you’re here tonight, I want you tonight.”

Meredith smiled up at him. “Do you want to eat first?” she asked.

“After,” James said. “Definitely after.”

***

James woke up to a quick flash of light. He scowled, squeezing his eyes shut before groaning slightly and half-opening them. 

“Sorry,” Meredith whispered from beside him. “I needed to check my messages and my screen was way too bright. I thought I hid it quick enough.”

He laughed, settling in against her shoulder again. “You weren’t taking pictures of me sleeping?”

“Clearly, yes. I need wall decorations for my place”

It was still dark outside and James was pretty sure he hadn’t been asleep that long. They’d get up and eat in a minute, he just wanted a little more time in here with her first. Meredith was so warm and familiar that for a second, he could pretend it was still a year ago. Adele had never found him and she never would. And even if they had a time limit, he was still here with Meredith and it was safe.

Though even when he dropped the illusion, that feeling remained. Adele had found him. She had poisoned him and tried to make him kill his friends. He had gone through the antidote, the month off, the process of coming back and trying to move on.

But Meredith still smelled the same. And her body, warm against his in his bed, was still the same. That hadn’t changed.

The hand that wasn’t holding her phone moved toward his hair and she must have felt the way his body tensed because it slid down to his arm instead. “Sorry,” she whispered.

“It’s okay.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Considering he was naked in his bed with a beautiful woman and everything about that felt fine, that was kind of the last thing he wanted. “No,” James said honestly. “I’d rather just be here.”

Meredith gave a little laugh, the movement of her chest bumping his head up and down. “I tried…” he started, then regrouped. “I was with a guy and he just, totally innocently, touched my hair behind my ear. And I lost it.”

“Was he understanding about it?” she asked, her fingers trailing down his arm.

“Way too understanding.”

“Good.”

She started typing a message on her phone and James closed his eyes again. “Are you dating him?” she asked.

“No.”

“I should leave soon,” she said. “It’s almost one.”

“Thank you for coming over,” James said. “I swear, I didn’t invite you over because I thought we’d have sex.”

“Your ex-girlfriend says she wants to see you and it doesn’t cross your mind that it might be about sex?”

“Wait,” James said, shifting so that he was looking her in the eye. “Was this a booty call?”

“I did want to see you,” Meredith said. “But also, if you were interested, so was I. I figured it was obvious.”

James laughed. “You know me,” he said. “There’s some things you need to say directly or I’m never going to figure it out. You have to, like, shout it or something. Maybe try skywriting.”

“I figured nobody could possibly miss that.”

“I feel so used,” James sighed, dramatically falling back onto her chest.

“Oh, stop,” she said, shivering as he ran a hand over her skin. 

“So used.”

Meredith went to say something, but he kissed her. She moved to set her phone on his bedside table before shifting them until James was on his back, looking up at her as she smiled at him in the darkness.

This was safe.

***

James blinked awake to the sunlight coming in his bedroom window. He was alone in bed, his body still aching, but only some of that ache felt bad. He was alone. Maybe when he’d drifted off again, Meredith had slipped out to let him sleep. He’d text her in a little bit and make sure she got home safely.

It was a little after eight o’clock. He had work at ten today, so he really shouldn’t call out sick again, as tempting as it was. His head did feel better, but he hadn’t really moved yet, so maybe it was just hiding out of sight as he got up and threw on some shorts and a t-shirt. He hadn’t seen Amelia last night either. She was off completely today, which was good. What time had she even gotten home?

As James left his room, he heard voices in the kitchen. Amelia and Meredith were sitting at the table, laughing over coffee. 

“I feel like an idiot,” Amelia was saying. “Everyone told me she was mean. Like, Madelyn tried to be nice about it. But finally she just said she was mean. James was trying to be nice about it, but that too. He asked me why I want to be with someone who treats me like that and it was like a lightbulb went off, you know what I mean? And Bradley was not nice about it at all, but he was right too. Oh, hey, James.”

“Hi,” James said. “I thought maybe you left.”

Meredith shrugged and laughed. “No, I fell asleep,” she admitted.

“Which is why there was a sea of untouched Chinese takeout containers out here when I got home,” Amelia said.

James shouldn’t be blushing, he was allowed to have sex in his own home. He poured a cup of coffee and sat down with them. “Did you have some?” he asked

“No,” Amelia said. “I went straight to bed and put my headphones on.”

Now his face was on fire, but Amelia was laughing. And Meredith was smiling at him over her coffee. And James knew they’d never be more than they were right now, but he was alright with that. 

***

Amelia, being the enormous hypocrite she was, followed James to work that day despite the fact that she wasn’t on. She had left her bag there apparently. So right after Meredith left with a promise to stay safe on the road and to stay in touch, they went over to headquarters together. The rest of the team was already there when they came inside.

“How are you feeling?” Gabriella asked James as he hung up his bag.

Madelyn looked over knowingly. “What?” he demanded, knowing full well what.

She shrugged. “I feel fine, thanks,” James said to Gabriella. “Much better than yesterday.”

Madelyn choked on her drink and James glared at her. But when he looked at Gabriella, she was smiling too. “Is there a fucking group chat?” he demanded.

“We’re just happy for you,” Graham said, because he was apparently in on this too. “Is she staying in town?”

“No, she’s actually leaving tomorrow for a road trip before she goes back to Australia,” James said. “It’s nothing like that. We’re just…”

He had nothing, but no one in this godforsaken building was going to rescue him. “Listen, we’re just glad you got laid,” Amelia said, and James wasn’t sure if he actually burst into flames or it just felt like it.

“Come on,” he protested.

Amelia grinned at him and he glared at all of them. “You’re all the worst,” he said. “Bradley’s my only fucking friend here.”

“Leave me out of it,” Bradley muttered. 

James looked down at the notes from the morning shift to see what horrors awaited them today. When he looked up again, Amelia wasn’t grinning at him anymore. She was over at the computer bank with Bradley, who had been, like usual, actively ignoring everything they were talking about as much as possible.

“You good?” she asked him, so quietly that James almost didn’t hear her.

“Fine,” Bradley said, his voice clipped. “Just finishing this.”

Whatever it was, Bradley clearly didn’t want to talk about it. But he also wasn’t doing the weird face thing, so James would mind his own business.

Bradley stood up as the printer turned on, then went to get the form he’d just printed. He stapled it together with the stapler that miraculously never seemed to leave the printer table, then handed the packet to James. 

“Redwood and Green Street,” he said. “I’m going home.”

James had no idea what Redwood and Green Street was, but he took the papers. “Thanks,” he said. “I’ll see you in a couple days.”

“Yeah.”

Bradley nodded to the group at large, then left. “I’ll be in my office,” James said. “Getting ready to do my job. So everybody leave me the hell alone.”

They wouldn’t, he knew that. But he didn’t actually mind. 

---

CONTINUE TO CHAPTER 27