The next morning, James managed to get to the store at six o’clock, just as the shipment of air conditioners was arriving. The man unloading them off the pallet laughed good-naturedly as he handed the first one to James.

“Thank you,” James said, setting it awkwardly in his shopping carriage. “You saved my workplace from killing each other.”

“Happy to help,” the man said. “Stay cool, man.”

Paying for it was painful, but he’d have the reimbursement fight with the Foundation later to look forward to. After his fight with Bradley over the fact that he’d used his own money on it instead of letting Bradley do so.

When he got to work, nobody was in the living room. “Just me!” James called as he walked up the steps, a swoop of déjà vu moving sickeningly through his stomach as he did his best to ignore it. 

The air conditioner technically fit in the living room window, but it was smaller than the old one. Which was fair, that thing had been ancient. But it slid awkwardly around on the windowsill as James tried to avoid accidentally pitching it out onto the front lawn. Just as he got the window closed on top of it, Gabriella came down the hall.

“I didn’t hear you come in,” she said. “Do you need any help?”

“Nah,” James said as he considered the two wide gaps on either side of the window. “Did you just get here?”

“An hour ago,” she said. “I’m waiting on some readings.”

He expected her to tell him what the readings were. Maybe he could see if they’d arrived in his account earlier than hers. But she just started checking her email as he tried to fill the gaps enough that the air conditioner would work and Fang wouldn’t make a break for it through the holes. A few patches of duct tape and old kitchen towels later, he succeeded. James wiped an arm over his sweaty face, his gloves sticking uncomfortably to his hands, but still more comfortable than not having them. He hadn’t worn the turtleneck today, going with a long-sleeved crew neck that wasn’t much cooler. But he’d managed to be out in public in it. Another step towards normalcy. 

“I’m going to head home and take a quick shower,” he said. “Let me know if you get them back before eight.”

When he came back to start his shift, James was wearing a t-shirt. He’d managed to actually wear a t-shirt. Which, of course he should be able to. Yesterday’s turtleneck was a severe overreaction, considering he was over everything that had happened. As he came up to the living room, Gabriella was in there, sitting close to the air conditioner.

“Hey, I got the readings back,” she said.

“Excellent,” he said. “Let me get my coffee and we can talk.”

“There’s not much to talk about yet,” she said, clearly trying not to look at his arms, which made him feel even sillier about everything. He was fine. It was time to be fine. “I need to put them in context first.”

“Alright,” he said, then checked his watch. “Actually, Celia’s supposed to call me in a minute, so I’ll see you in a little bit.”

He got his coffee and went into his office, keeping the door open as he looked out the window above Auntie Carrie’s old air conditioner at the brown grass between headquarters and the house next door. It was just as hot today as yesterday, but he felt better than he had in weeks in a t-shirt and gloves. As he sipped the cooling coffee, his phone rang.

“Hey, Cel,” James greeted her.

“Hey.”

She didn’t sound worried, so that was good. “What’s up?” he asked.

“Can I ask you something? It’s kind of personal.”

“Yeah, of course,” James said, sitting at his desk and putting down his coffee. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” she said. “Listen, um, you’re bisexual, right?”

James was quiet for a second. He picked his coffee up and took a sip. “It’s beautiful out, isn’t it?” he asked, standing back up.

“Ugh, I’m sorry,” Celia said. “I shouldn’t’ve asked. I said it was personal, but-”

“You know,” he continued, peeking through the shades of his window at the sun outside. “My weather app said to look for rain today, so I dressed accordingly. And wouldn’t you know? Not a drop. What do you make of that?”

“James!”

He could keep torturing his younger cousin all morning, but he had stuff to do. “Yeah,” he said with a laugh as he sat back down. “Yeah, I am. Why do you ask?”

“Penny came out to me.”

“No kidding? Hey, that’s awesome.”

“Yeah, she’s dating a girl at school, apparently. I think she’s a little young, but it’s innocent enough. Lacey Renfro. I told her I’d like to meet Lacey and you’d think I said I want to kidnap and interrogate the kid.”

James laughed. “That’s great,” he said. “I mean, yeah, she’s young. But I think I had a girlfriend in seventh grade.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, actually. Alexa Crawford. We kissed behind the gym after school.”

“So romantic,” Celia said with an exaggerated sigh.

“So what is it that you need from me?” James asked.

“I guess just someone she can talk to?” Celia replied. “She told me she’s out at school and doesn’t care if the family knows. But I don’t know if anyone else in the family is bi too. And I trust you with her.”

He’d never admit the ridiculous glow of pride he felt that she would think of him and trust him with that role. “Yeah, I could do that,” he said.

“Thank you,” she said. “I told her she can come to me with anything, but this isn’t something I’ve gone through, so I can only give some guidance. I’ve never dated a woman.”

“No, only a man twenty years older than you.”

“He’s fifteen years older, he’s wonderful, and it’s none of your business.”

“Excuse me?” James teased. “Who called who to ask about their sexual orientation at eight AM on a Friday?”

“You’re right,” she relented.

“And I know he’s wonderful.”

He glanced at the clock. “Listen,” he said. “As much as I’d so much rather just stay on the phone, I have a ton to do today. And I know you just got out of the overnight shift. Give Penny my phone number. If she wants to talk about any of this with me, I’m happy to do it.”

“Thank you so much,” Celia said, sounding more relieved than James might have expected. “Honestly, she’d probably way prefer talking to you over me about it anyway.”

They hung up and James took a second to check his email. Or at least glance over the enormous list of emails clogging up his inbox. Then he went back out into the living room, where Gabriella was still sitting on the couch with a laptop. Bradley was there now too. He nodded to James as he came in and sat down, his eyes darting to James’s arms before going back to his computer.

“What’s up with the readings you got?” James asked Gabriella.

She shrugged. “Nothing exciting. It’s for the house on Seventh Street, the one with the singing.”

James kind of remembered discussing that one at the meeting yesterday. Amelia had taken it and he’d spaced out at his desk while she spoke, though hopefully no one had noticed.

“Are you scheduled to go back today?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Gabriella replied. “After I finish my part of the chore chart for this week.”

“You’re cleaning the gym, right?” James asked. “I can do it, you’ve got plenty to do.”

“No, it’s not a problem,” Gabriella said. “I’m going to go do it in a few minutes, it won’t take long.”

He wanted to keep arguing, but there was something in her voice that made him realize it was a losing argument.

“Celia just called me,” he said instead.

“Oh yeah?” Gabriella asked. “What about?”

“She apparently said it’s fine if everyone knows, but Penny came out as bi to her. She has a girlfriend and everything.”

“Good for her.”

“So she called to ask if I was also bi. And I made her pay for it, but told her yeah, I am. She wants Penny to have an adult she can talk to about these kinds of things.”

“That’s…really sweet.”

“I thought so too,” he said, realizing he’d left his coffee in the office. “I’m not sure I’ll be any help though.”

“Just having someone to talk to that’s not her parents will probably help,” Gabriella said.

“Maybe.”

“I kind of remember the guy you dated in college.” She turned to Bradley. “He’d bring him home all the time.”

“Yeah?” Bradley said, with as much enthusiasm as ever as he focused on his computer screen.

“Yeah. He was cool. Actually, Meredith kind of reminded me of him. What happened to him?”

“He moved to New York,” James replied.

“Are you still in touch?” 

“No, but he and his husband seem very happy together. And it’s been-” 

He took a sharp breath, memories of obsession pushing their way to the forefront of his mind as he tried to force them back. It had been six months, he was over it. 

He shook his head sharply. “Anyway, I’m happy to do it if she wants me to.”

He pretended not to notice both of the others looking at him as he stood up. “I have to get back to work.”

A little while later, James was working alone in his office when Amelia knocked on the doorframe. “Hey, what’s up?” he asked.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, why?”

“No reason.”

Either Gabriella or Bradley or both of them had sold him out, hadn’t they? “Right,” he said. “Yeah, everything’s fine.”

Amelia came in and sat down on the dining room chair that was still sitting beside his desk. She was also obviously trying not to get caught looking at his bare arms. “Thanks for getting the air conditioner,” she said. 

“No problem,” James replied. “I wanted you all the fuck out of my office.”

“Yeah, like that’ll ever happen.”

She had a point. James never closed the door unless he was in a meeting in here, so the team were in and out all the time. He’d come in to find someone asleep on his couch at least once a week. Madelyn was the main culprit, but everyone took their turns. And if he was working at his desk, it was rare that he went more than an hour without someone poking their head in or lounging in previously thought-to-be-unloungable kitchen chairs, just like Amelia was at this moment.

And James loved it that way, no matter what he told the team. 

“Do you need something, or…”

“Yeah, actually,” Amelia said. “You’re off tomorrow night, right?”

James glanced down at the handwritten schedule he’d scribbled on the back of an envelope. “Yeah, why?”

“Me, Riley, and a couple of her teammates are going to Marcy’s. You should come.”

James’s first instinct was to tell her absolutely not. He was not going out to a loud club with her and her friends and she was not setting him up with anyone. He was not going to go out dancing in a crowd where anyone could do anything they liked and slip away unnoticed. 

And based on her face, Amelia could tell what he was about to say. But instead of pushing like she had months earlier, she shook her head. “It’s okay,” she said, her voice a little softer. “You don’t have to.”

No, he didn’t. But maybe he should.

“Yeah, okay.”

Now Amelia was beaming. “Seriously?” she said. “You’ll go?”

“Yeah,” James said. “It’s probably a good idea.”

“It’s a great idea. I’m going to stay at Riley’s after, you can come too.”

“That might be a little far,” he said. “You’ve told me about Riley’s apartment and I’m too old to sleep in the bathtub.”

“She got a couch.”

“She got a couch?” James repeated. “When?”

“Last week. It’s not a great couch, but it’s something.”

Riley’s apartment was about the same size as Gabs’s and neither had had a couch until recently. “Okay,” he said, pushing himself. “Yeah, I’m at work at eleven Sunday, so I’ll go with you, stay at Riley’s if she’s cool with it, and then we’ll come back and make ourselves kind of presentable for work.”

“Perfect!” Amelia said, beaming. “Oh my God, I’m so excited you’re coming with us. And if you need to leave early or whatever because you’re a hundred, Riley can give you her key or I can go with you in the Uber or something. So don’t feel like you have to stay until two with us.”

He was grateful for that. Would it be weird to sleep on his friend’s girlfriend’s couch while they were all still out partying? Yeah, maybe. But it beat being the old man asleep in the corner while the young people circled around and poked him with a stick to see if he was still alive.

“Oh, Bradley’s off too,” Amelia said. “Let me see if he wants to go.”

Did she figure that James and Bradley would just snuggle up on the tiny old couch that Riley had bought? She hurried out of the office and James tried to go back to his to-do list, but she was back a second later.

“No luck, he’s going out in Boston that night,” she said. “I tried to get him to switch dance nights, but he’s meeting with Roxanne.”

Roxanne was the captain at the Essex County Foundation branch, where Bradley had worked before moving to North Worcester. And apparently he was still close enough with her to go out with the Essex team fairly regularly. Which was his business, even if James was a little hurt that he was so adamant about keeping his work and personal lives so separate here in Worcester.

He sucked at it, especially these days. But that was his business and James was just being sensitive.

“It’ll be fun though,” Amelia said. “It’s you, me, Riley, Elizabeth, and maybe the guy on their team, Matt. I met him once and I didn’t realize he worked there. But he’s their tech guy, if I’m thinking correctly.”

She looked meaningfully at him and James resisted the urge to roll his eyes. 

***

James sat at his desk a little while later with his phone in his hand, wondering exactly what he should write to Penny.

JAMES

Hey, Pen. Your mom told me what’s going on. If you ever have anything you want to talk about, I’m always here.

The reply came almost immediately.

PENNY

Mom told me. I didn’t know you were bi! I never saw you with a boyfriend

James laughed. He wasn’t sure exactly when that would’ve come up in conversation with her, so of course she hadn’t known. It was nice that she felt comfortable coming to him with this. But how exactly should he word these things with a twelve year old?

JAMES

Yeah, I’ve dated girls and guys but I’m usually too busy with work.

Did that sound pathetic? Maybe. But whatever, it was mostly accurate and anything else was not appropriate to discuss with her.

JAMES

I mean it though. If you ever want someone to talk about this stuff with, you can talk to me. I don’t have to tell anyone.

Penny sent back a heart emoji and James wasn’t quite sure how to respond. Did that mean the conversation was over? His work phone rang at that exact moment, ending the conversation anyway.

***

Penny texted James again a little while later. 

PENNY

When did you know you weren’t straight?

James thought about it. He’d been a teenager, older than Penny. But he couldn’t remember exactly when the realization had come to him. He hadn’t dated any boys in high school. Not that he’d dated many girls either. 

He had a minute to text with her now, but that didn’t actually matter because his phone was ringing with a video call from her.

“Don’t you have school?” he teased as he answered.

“I just got out,” she said.

Penny’s light brown hair was blowing in a faint wind as she walked. He was pretty sure she was getting off the school bus, those looked like the trees across from Celia’s house towering over her.

“Do you mind that I called?” Penny asked.

“Of course not,” James said. “Actually, your timing is great. I’m on my lunch break.”

He wasn’t eating anything, he’d eat later when he could stomach it. But he had a few minutes left.

“What did you want to talk about?” James asked.

“I don’t know,” she replied, suddenly shy.

“Well, to answer your question from earlier, sometime when I was a teenager,” he said. “So I hear you have a girlfriend?”

Penny smiled, sitting down on her porch. “Yeah,” she said.

He waited, but she didn’t say anything else. “And?” he prompted.

“And her name’s Lacey. She likes ghosts too.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, that’s how we met. There’s a haunted house near our school that we both think is really cool and…”

She trailed off, but James narrowed his eyes. “You’re not going in this haunted house, are you?”

Penny sighed. “No, Uncle James,” she said. “We’re not doing anything with ghosts.”

“Good,” he said. “This stuff is serious. But come on, I have a couple minutes. Tell me more about her.”

By the end of his lunch break, James had learned that Lacey was in Penny’s homeroom, they both liked the same cartoons he’d never heard of, and she played the saxophone. As Madelyn peeked around the corner of James’s doorway, he reluctantly ended the conversation.

“I have to get going,” he said. “Love you, honey. And I mean it, call me anytime, okay?”

“Love you too.”

She hung up and he looked over at Madelyn, who was smiling. “What’s up?” he asked.

“Nothing big. You just have a call from Branch Services.”

The day would end soon enough. James picked up his phone a moment later after the call transferred. “Captain McManus speaking, how can I help you?”

“Captain, this is Bruce over in Branch Services,” a man’s voice said. “I’m calling to discuss the safety modules we haven’t received from you yet.”

Shit. He’d forgotten about those. “Sorry,” James said, scribbling a note on his to-do list. “I’ll get those in soon.”

“Captain, surely the safety of your team is a priority.”

A slow, cold drip of fear and guilt slid into his stomach. “Of course it is,” he said quickly. “Sorry, I can get those in in the next couple days.”

“Thank you,” Bruce said, a hint of incredulity in his voice, like he still couldn’t believe James would put his own work before his team’s safety. 

Which was maybe correct. Maybe he had a point. As James hung up a moment later, he opened the modules with shaking hands. It was fine, he was fine. As long as he kept the team safe, everything was fine. 

---

CONTINUE TO CHAPTER 4