Lancaster Green Chapter 14
While James would admit that yes, he definitely needed a little more time off, the worst part of it was that the timing of this impromptu leave meant he was no longer working the overnight shift during Madelyn and Graham’s date that night. As much as both of them insisted it was fine, it was his house, and it wasn’t like this was a date date, he still felt bad intruding on their evening.
And it was a little gloomy to sit in the house and hear them being gently affectionate with each other. Even if the idea of any sort of new love or passion genuinely scared him right now. He’d thought he felt that and it was mind control. So he knew he couldn’t ever trust it again, but that didn’t mean he didn’t miss it.
They took their space and gave James his, but they wouldn’t let him escape when Graham was serving up the food he’d made, which was exactly what Madelyn had said it would be. Upscale versions of common meals. And considering this was the best grilled cheese James had ever had, he wasn’t going to complain.
And he didn’t miss the quick glance between Graham and Madelyn as he thanked them and took a bite. He knew his caution around food concerned the others and he was doing his best to get past it. She hadn’t done anything to his food. No one had. The Foundation said it might be the food, McGovern said it was the food, and it hadn’t been that at all. It didn’t make sense, but none of this really made sense.
After he managed to eat half the grilled cheese, James went to his room to give them some privacy. But once he was in there, he realized he had no idea what he wanted to do. He scrolled listlessly on his phone for a little while, opening text conversations at random, then closing them. Then, despite everything he’d been feeling tonight, he opened his conversation with Meredith.
JAMES
What are you up to?
This wasn’t a booty call, she was halfway across the world. But he still cringed as he sent the message. Still, she replied a few minutes later.
MEREDITH
Hi! Morning off, so I’m in a study group. What’s up?
He glanced out the window at the dark sky. But before he could get morose, his phone rang.
“What’s going on?” Meredith asked as he picked up.
“You just said you’re in a study group,” James said. “You didn’t have to call, I was just bored and saying hi.”
Meredith laughed. “It’s fine,” she said. “Honestly, I’m not sure how long I want to stay part of this study group anyway. If it wasn’t calling you, I would’ve found another reason to leave.”
James smiled, relaxing more as he propped himself up on his headboard. “Yeah?” he asked. “Are they bullies?”
“No,” she said with another comforting laugh. “They’re weird, I guess. No, that’s mean and someone’s going to walk out of the building and hear me talking shit. No, they’re fine people. They’re kind. But I think our personalities just don’t go well together. It’s fine, it’s a small program but it’s not like they’re the only study group in my cohort.”
“Their loss,” James said.
“No, I swear they’re nice,” she protested. “It’s nothing, ignore me.”
“Never.”
It slipped out before he could soften it up. Shit, she’d said she was seeing someone and he was beyond fucked up. To the point that now he was scared and not quite sure why. Meredith was quiet for a second. “How are you?” she asked, sounding like she truly meant it.
“I’m not great,” he admitted. “I, um, have a few days off work.”
“Oh yeah? Vacation days?”
“No, I thought maybe I was being controlled again, panicked, and dove into a lake. So Amelia said to take a few days off.”
“James.”
“I know,” he said, and was shocked when he almost laughed. “I’m so embarrassed. And what makes it worse is that Bradley jumped in to get me. In case it was shallow and I broke my neck.”
She was silent again. “It wasn’t,” James said quickly. “It’s a deep lake and I knew that. But…”
He groaned. “I’m fine, I swear. But yeah, I have a couple recovery days.”
“Good.”
“What are you doing today?” he asked. “Besides the study group you hate?”
“James!” she protested. “Stop it!”
He laughed a little, the chill of the lake water receding. “I have class later,” Meredith said. “And I’m going out with Bryan tonight.”
“Is Bryan your boyfriend?”
“Not officially, no,” she said. “We’ve been dating some though. He’s nice, he grew up near the university. I’m sorry, this is weird, isn’t it?”
“A little,” James admitted.
“I’m sorry,” she said again. “I know I’m the one who put all the restrictions on you and me, and now I’m here telling you about this guy I’m dating down here.”
“It’s how it had to be.”
“I know,” she said. “I just feel bad. I didn’t handle our breakup that well, either. I realized what an asshole move that was pretty much as soon as I got on the flight and my mind was clear.”
“We knew it was temporary.”
“I could have handled it better.”
He could never tell any of the women he worked with about this conversation. He would never hear the end of it. “It’s fine,” James insisted. “We’re good.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. So what’s Bryan like?”
He was in here talking with his ex-girlfriend about her new boyfriend, trying to give his roommate and his girlfriend privacy while she stayed here to give her roommate and her girlfriend privacy. James wasn’t sure how pathetic he should feel in this moment, but he wasn’t doing a great job of it. He actually felt a little better, despite everything.
“He’s nice,” she said again. “Funny.”
“And you’re happy?”
“I am.”
There was no hesitation. “I’m really glad,” James said, meaning it. “I’m happy for you, Meredith.”
Meredith sighed. “I should get back to my study group.”
“Tell them I said they’re terrible.”
“Stop it!” she protested again. “Bryan’s in there.”
“Wait,” he said, uselessly smoothing out a burn mark on his quilt from when he and Bradley had smoked themselves senseless in here a few weeks ago. “Your new boyfriend-”
“Not official.”
“Your not-official boyfriend is in the terrible study group you just ditched to come call your ex-boyfriend?”
“He knows where I am,” she said. “He’s very understanding.”
“I mean, yeah, feels like he’d have to be.”
She finally hung up and James set down his phone, feeling more relaxed than he had in days. It was early, but maybe he’d actually use this time to rest like Amelia wanted him to.
***
James also didn’t want to admit that the time away from work was a relief, but it was. The first morning he slept late, then went for a long walk, looping his way toward downtown Leominster and back. At one point as he passed the Ecuadorian restaurant he used to go to all the time, he paused and looked in the window. The line was long and the familiar people working the register and open kitchen were all moving quickly, talking to each other, one man laughing at another as he glowered at the cash register. It all looked happy and he was tempted to go in for the first time in weeks. But he couldn’t get himself to open the door.
It was fine. He’d just keep going.
He watched movies too. Graham had pulled out a few of his favorites the first morning and left them on the table. Then, on the second afternoon, James went through the shelves himself. So it was Some Like It Hot and Smokey and the Bandit on the first day and The Amityville Horror on the second. At first, James set that one back down and kept going, but when nothing else caught his eye, he popped it into the player.
As the on-screen haunting increased, he couldn’t help picturing Gabriella in that house. She’d spent the month he was gone working the kind of demon case that used to go straight to an exorcist. But James had sent her into worse, hadn’t he? It was her job, she was fantastic at it, and she didn’t need him to protect her anymore than the others did. Right?
As though summoned by the fact he was watching a demon movie, a text came through as the movie was ending.
Fr McE
How is being back at work?
James smiled, then looked up as James Brolin tried to kill his family on screen. He froze as he realized what he was watching. And before he knew what he was doing, he was calling instead of texting back.
“Hi!” Father McEnerney said through a mouthful of food as he quickly moved away from the phone to swallow. “Not that I’m not thrilled to hear from you, but this is a surprise.”
“Yeah, I picked a hell of a movie and you called and…”
James trailed off, knowing there was no dignified way to end this. On screen, the children wailed and the mother screamed, but this burly, bearded man kept going.
“Are you alright?”
“Yeah,” he said, keeping his voice casual as though he hadn’t just called a colleague who was probably knee-deep in real life demons right now because a fake demon movie scared him. “Sorry, I should have just texted back. Amelia made me take a few more days off.”
“I’m just eating lunch in my car,” Father McEnerney said. “You didn’t disturb me.”
“Where are you?”
“Burlington, Vermont.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Oh, did Gabriella tell you about the case we worked on together a couple weeks ago?”
“She did,” James said, muting the TV. “Or, they all did. You met our cousin Manny, too?”
They chatted for a few minutes and James felt that same relief he’d felt after calling Meredith the other night as he realized that there was no caution in Father McEnerney’s voice as he talked to James.
“So what movie prompted this call?” Father McEnerney asked as he was getting ready to go to his next case.
“Amityville Horror?”
There was a long, disapproving silence on the other end of the line. “Yesterday it wasn’t a horror movie?” he offered up weakly.
“I’m just glad you’re okay,” Father McEnerney said with a laugh. “Alright, take care.”
James hung up the phone. On screen, James Brolin’s family embraced him as they all fled the house together.
