72 St. Margaret’s Way Chapter 18
James didn’t feel normal by any means that evening, but he was out of bed and had managed a few bites of a peanut butter sandwich. Now he was sitting in the living room, half-listening to a story that Graham was telling over the comms as he wrapped up a simple case. He was talking about some misadventure Madelyn had suffered on a recent date while Madelyn laughed and corrected him, leading Amelia to laugh and correct her. Gabriella worked at one end of the couch and James sat at the other end. He was wrapped in the same enormous sweatshirt he’d found last night and felt a little more stable with some actual food in his stomach. Not okay, but not as bad as even the day before.
So it was a shock that shouldn’t have been a shock when the doorbell rang and his body instantly flooded with adrenaline and terror.
He got up and hurried into the hallway as everyone else was focused on the door. Maybe it was nothing. There was an election coming up, maybe someone was stopping by with pamphlets. But as James stood in the hallway, just out of sight, his whole body trembled with fear.
“Is James here?”
It was her. Of course it was. Adele was here, she was back, nothing had changed. She was going to take him again. And none of the others were prepared against her. James’s hand hit the doorknob of the storage closet and he managed to get it open, slipping inside and pressing himself against the back wall.
He slid down the wall until he was seated, knees pressed to his chest. From here, he could hear everything that was happening outside, but no one could see him.
“Get out,” Amelia demanded.
“I need to talk to James, please!”
She was going to do it. In a second, Amelia would let her in, because she’d either be dead or controlled. There was no stopping Adele, not forever.
He was breathing too loudly, she was going to find him and she’d make him do it this time. He’d come so close and it was hard to remember why- James pressed a fist to his mouth to keep himself quiet, his teeth digging into the back of his hand. The pain sparked through his terror, but he couldn’t get up. He should go help them, shouldn’t he? He needed to protect his team. So why was he hiding?
“Look, I’m sorry!” Adele exclaimed from the front entrance. “I messed up and I need to tell him I’m sorry.”
“You don’t get to do that!” Amelia yelled. “You were wrong! That other man died, didn’t he? That’s why you’re here.”
Another man. The other man, she’d killed him. There was silence and it was probably her getting in, wasn’t it? What if she hurt the others? He needed to get up and out of this closet and go help them.
“You need to leave,” Amelia said. “Right now. If there was any fucking justice in the world…”
“I know I was wrong!” Adele said. “But I couldn’t have you coming to the wellness fair and I panicked! I told him to kill you, but he didn’t, so it’s okay!”
Adele was sobbing, heaving cries that carried into the storage closet where James was trying not to do the same. It didn’t matter what she said, she was going to take him again, put him under her control and make him do things. All the things that she told him to do before. She’d ordered him to kill his team.
He’d told her everything. When he’d come back after attacking Madelyn, he told her his team knew about her and the wellness fair. He told her exactly who knew. Amelia, Madelyn, Bradley. And she said they had to die. Anyone who knew had to die.
“I just wanted you to stop investigating me!” Adele said through her tears. “I needed you to go away! Please, just let me say I’m sorry!”
He tasted blood now. His teeth had broken through the skin, and his blood was running down his hand. But James didn’t move, just squeezed his eyes shut and tried not to let her hear him.
“You hurt him,” Amelia said. “You fucking…you don’t care about James. You have no idea what you did to a good person. Get the hell out of here.”
“I stopped, I promise!” Adele said, still crying. “I shut it all down! I’ll never do it again. My uncle, he was the one who said that there was no law. He said I was helping people!”
“You knew,” Amelia said, her voice laced with disgust. “You knew it was wrong, so take responsibility. Jesus Christ, you aren’t a child.”
“He wanted to kill James!” Adele yelled. “He told me we should just kill him, but I didn’t! I saved him!”
Tears mingled with blood and he couldn’t breathe right. The door cracked open, light streaming in through the small opening. James tried to move backward, but there was nowhere to go. “James?” whispered Madelyn.
“I told you I’d blow your fucking head off if you came back,” Gabriella said furiously as she stormed past the closet door. “You hurt my cousin.”
“I didn’t hurt him! I just needed to be safe and I wanted to mess with him a little, that’s all!” Adele said desperately. “Shut him up and have a hot guy do whatever I told him to do. I know it was wrong, I’m sorry! I panicked when he said people knew, so I told him to kill them. I didn’t want to get in trouble!”
“What?”
She told him to forget that order. Just like she told him to forget his first instructions to be ready to kill if he had to. She’d been specifically priming him to kill his team from the start and he had no idea until right now.
Madelyn closed the door again, moving toward him in the darkness. James was too exposed, even in the sweatshirt he was pretty sure he stole from Bradley. Madelyn touched his sleeve and it wasn’t as threatening with the layer of fabric between them. She was smaller than he was, so she managed to squeeze in beside him with minimal effort. Which was good because he couldn’t move.
“You fucking what?” Gabriella demanded from the door.
She needed to get away from there, Adele could hurt her too. Adele was never going away.
“I didn’t hurt him! He doesn’t even remember! I was scared and-”
“Gabriella!” Amelia yelled as there was a crash and Adele wailed, the sound echoing through James’s skull.
“I’m sorry!” Adele sobbed outside, her voice carrying through the house. “I’m so sorry! Look, he can just forget it, right? He did before, so he’ll be fine. James! Are you in there? Please just forget everything that happened! See, it’s fine!”
She sounded so remorseful, but she could take him back anytime she wanted, James was sure of it. Anything could touch his skin and put him right back under her control.
He tried to kill his friends. She told him he should kill them, to not hesitate if the choice was between her and them.
There was nothing for them at the wellness fair.
There was nothing for them at the wellness fair. He didn’t need to remember that she said to kill his friends.
He’d gone straight up to her stand, ignoring the woman who was looking at the messily stacked soaps as Adele spoke to her uncle in the back. The woman glanced at him and he must have looked as terrified as he felt, because she immediately walked away.
“James!” Adele exclaimed, a grin sliding over her face as she walked toward him. “You’re looking-”
“They know,” he blurted out. “My team, they’re after you.”
Her smirk melted into fear and he tried to force his own terror away so that he could protect her. She looked back at her uncle. James turned to him too, but he wouldn’t meet James’s eye.
“You have to do it,” she said.
He knew what she meant, but he didn’t want to know. “What?”
“Anyone who knows, they have to die. Who knows?”
“Amelia and Madelyn,” James said, then remembered his conversation with Bradley the day before. “Bradley too.”
“Anyone else? Think hard.”
Graham hadn’t said anything. Neither had Gabriella. “No one else.”
“Those are the three you need to kill,” Adele said, keeping her voice quiet in the cavernous hall.
“What?”
Adele looked back at her uncle, who looked angry. He motioned toward her and she turned back to James. He looked at her, falling in love all over again. He’d do anything for her. But this-
“Come here.”
Shaking, James went behind the counter. Adele picked up a small container of cream and scooped out a tiny amount on her finger. She slid her hand into his hair, stroking the skin around his ear. James closed his eyes, hoping against hope that maybe this was her forgiving him for messing up so badly. When he opened them again, she was looking at him, her hands by her side.
“You need to kill them,” she said, locking her eyes on his. “Those three. Tell me which ones again.”
“Amelia, Madelyn, and Bradley.”
“If anyone else gets in your way, kill them if you have to. But you have to kill the three that know about me. They can’t find me, do you understand?”
“Yes.”
“The rest can live, as long as you know there’s nothing at the wellness fair for them. But what are you going to do to the ones that know about me?”
“I’m going to kill them.”
“Good. You don’t need to remember this.”
Madelyn’s terror as she swung her cane at him.
Amelia looking from his face to the knife in his hand. He didn’t want to kill her.
The only reason he hadn’t killed Bradley yet was because they didn’t keep real firearms in the building. But he’d sent in the request and it was approved even without an actual reason given. Then James had texted him, trying to lure him to headquarters to die.
Dreaming about killing those three in particular, over and over. Because she told him to and he’d failed.
Maybe he’d even have to kill the fucking cat.
There was nothing for them at the wellness fair.
There was silence outside and then a small beam of light inside. “Oh my God, James,” Madelyn said, jerking back as her flashlight illuminated his body. “Shit, where’s that blood coming from?”
There was nothing for them-
He couldn’t answer her. He was breathing too fast, his heart about to explode out of his chest. James didn’t know if Adele was still out there or not, or what weapons she had against any of them. And he was locked in place, frozen in a body that was going to betray him at any moment. What was he going to do to Madelyn this time?
The front door slammed shut and, a moment later, the closet door opened again, light flooding in. James let out a muffled scream, but his body was still locked like this, blood running from his wounded hand as it stayed pressed to his face. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut as she came toward him.
“Fuck,” Amelia said. “Shit, what happened?”
“I don’t know,” Madelyn replied.
“James, hey, James.”
Amelia was talking to him, but he couldn’t answer her. If he looked up, Adele was going to be there. She’d yank back control and then who knew what she’d make him do.
“It’s his hand,” he heard Amelia say as she tried to dislodge it from its place between his knees and face. “James, hey, it’s alright. She’s gone.”
She’s gone. No, she was never gone. He was compromised. He was a danger to his team. And he was more afraid than he’d ever been in his life.
“Can you come out into the light?” Amelia asked softly. “I want to check your hand.”
He wasn’t going to move. He couldn’t, he had no control over his body. It was staying locked here, knees up, head down, for as long as it wanted to. And if he tried to move, then something bad would happen. Something really, really bad.
“What’s going on?”
Gabriella was here now. She needed to leave, she couldn’t know because then he’d have to kill her too. She had to run, but James couldn’t get his voice to work to tell her this.
“Call Jolene,” Amelia said. “She was going to South County earlier, see if she can come back. Then tell Graham to do a check of their neighborhood and this one before he comes back here.”
No, no, they couldn’t bring anyone else into danger. James was dangerous. If Adele decided to come back…he could see it too clearly, all the horrible images painted on the inside of his eyelids as he tried to will them away.
He’d dreamed all of it, but he’d dreamed it because it was supposed to happen.
“James.”
A hand touched his face and he screamed again. “Get away from me!” he managed, tasting blood.
“It’s okay,” Amelia said, her voice low as she held her hands up. “It’s just me. We don’t have to leave here, just let me see your hand.”
His hand hurt and as he lifted his head slightly, he could see the jagged cut where his teeth had broken through.
There was no coming back from this. He could barely even remember being his normal self, the self he’d been when he picked up that wallet, trying to be helpful. That James was dead. There was blood on his mouth and the sweatshirt sleeves he was pulling over his hands to protect them. He could bury his face in it and get some safety, but not enough.
Amelia kept talking, her voice low and steady, but James didn’t answer. He’d tried to kill her. He tried to kill all of them. The images of him and Adele behind her stand – her giving him orders he’d immediately forget, but still obey – were coming back now. And so were the knives he’d slipped out of the weapons closet, the vague plans to kill the others if they got close to going after Adele. Reassuring her over and over that he’d do it if that was what it took. Like a mantra she had him repeating. Then actually trying to do so.
All the things she’d told him to forget were resurfacing and James was drowning in them, even as Amelia tried to reach him.
There were other voices around them, Gabriella, then Graham. He had no idea how much time passed until there was another person there, and he realized it was Jolene.
“James, can I please see your hand?” she asked.
He stayed where he was, tucked tightly into himself and trying not to keep screaming. His body was still shaking. “Where is she?” he asked.
“She’s gone,” Amelia said. “She’s long gone.”
“That’s not true. She’s coming back. She’s going to make me kill you.”
His voice was muffled by the sweatshirt he was ruining. “James,” Jolene said. “You need to calm down. Can you do that for me?”
His breath was coming in sharp gasps into the bloody sweatshirt sleeves. Jolene touched his arm and he managed to look up at her. She moved her fingers toward his neck and he flinched away.
“I’m going to give you something to help you calm down,” Jolene said. “Is that alright?”
He was breathing so quickly that he was getting dizzy as he nodded. Jolene tugged lightly at the sweatshirt and he flinched away from her again, nearly falling over. “It’s alright,” Jolene said, holding him still as she stretched the sweatshirt collar to expose his upper arm. “This is just a little of the same thing I gave you the other night. It’s okay. It’ll help.”
A quick pinch of pain made James jump. “It’s okay,” Jolene repeated. “I meant it earlier, she doesn’t have you anymore.”
“I don’t want to kill you,” he said.
“You’re not going to kill me,” Jolene replied.
“I’m going to kill them.”
“You’re not going to kill anyone, it’s alright.”
“Madelyn, you need to get away from me.”
Madelyn was still sitting next to him and he focused on her hand on his arm as his breathing returned to a normal level, assisted by the shot Jolene had just given him. It was helping. The weight of her hand and the big letter C at the start of CORNELL on the sweatshirt he definitely stole from Bradley were helping him focus on something other than his fear. The panic was subsiding, the terror dissolving as he stared at the floor, no longer caring how many people were crowded around him as his head fell down onto Madelyn’s shoulder.
“Can you stand up now?” Jolene asked a moment later.
James nodded and Jolene took his hand through the sweatshirt. He stood up, then stumbled as the others moved out of his way.
“Couch or bed?” Jolene asked him.
“Bed,” James mumbled. “I want to lie down.”
Graham was on his other side now and they steered him out of the storage closet and down the hall, the world getting blurry and unconcerning around him as they moved. They were right, Adele was long gone. And he’d worry about the unforgivable parts later.
