O’Toole House Chapter 17
James actually opened the door this time when Gabriella knocked. “Hi,” she greeted cheerfully.
“Hey.”
He didn’t move out of the doorway. “You don’t have to stay,” he said. “I’m fine.”
No he wasn’t. Even if he was sober right now, he still looked like hell. But the rejection stopped her short despite everything.
“Do you want some dinner?” she asked.
“I already ate. You should go home and get some rest.”
Gabriella hesitated, the demon’s taunts coming to mind. Her house was safe, it wasn’t after her. They’d been generic taunts from a demon focused on one man. So she should just go home and give James some space.
“Gab,” James said, sounding a little impatient now. “I know your apartment isn’t leaking. I’m fine, you don’t have to stay.”
Which was half of her reason for staying, but the other half was pretty pressing too. But if he didn’t want her here, she’d go. “That’s fine,” she said. “Um, yeah, I’ll go home. Have a, um, have a good night.”
She just had to move her feet, that was all. Then she’d walk out of here, go get her car, and drive home. James narrowed his eyes as she did none of this. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” she squeaked. “Um, yeah, I’m sorry. It’s not a leak, it’s…it’s something else. But I can just head back over to headquarters.”
Bradley and Graham were overnight tonight, they wouldn’t care if she slept there. Especially since she was on at nine tomorrow morning.
“Gab.” James went to reach for her, but stopped. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing!” Gabriella insisted, shaking her head. “I just wanted to check in, that’s all. And now I did, so I’ll just head home. Goodnight!”
She wanted so badly to just tell him everything, but that was purely selfish. And considering Amelia had just potentially imploded her relationship with Riley to avoid doing just that, it would be horrible of Gabriella to do so now. Even beyond what it would potentially do to James.
“Gabs-”
“James,” she said, looking him directly in the eye. “Everything’s fine. I can head out, it’s no problem.”
“What’s happening?”
He looked scared. “It’s fine,” she repeated. “Come on. I’m going to go back. If you want to be alone, I can just say I’ve seen you. It’s fine, I can-”
He stepped aside. “Come in.”
“Are you sure?”
He nodded a little too quickly and she stepped into the apartment. If he’d rather be alone, then she’d just stay a little while and then go back to headquarters.
They went into the living room and James sat on the couch, too upright and too tense to truly feel like him. Gabriella sat down too, leaving plenty of space between them. “How are you?” Gabriella asked.
“Fine.”
Everything about him still screamed not fine, but she wasn’t going to push. His hair was messy and he looked too thin in an old, heavy, high school sweatshirt that hung loosely over him. “What’s happening?” he asked. “Why can’t you go home?”
“It’s fine,” Gabriella said, hoping her voice was hitting that confident and comforting note she was going for and probably missing. “I’m not going to talk about work. But everyone is okay. And we all miss you.”
Maybe that last part was a mistake, because James took a shaky breath, then stood up. “Do you need anything?” he asked.
“No,” Gabriella replied. “Can you sit back down?”
She went to reach for him, then reconsidered. He turned around and she motioned toward the couch. “I don’t have to stay all night,” she said.
“Are you going to go home?”
She shrugged, as if there was a chance in hell she was going home.
“You can have the couch,” James said. “I’ll be in my room. It’s…”
He looked so lost right now, standing in the middle of his own neat living room. “Can we maybe just sit for a few minutes?” Gabriella asked.
James looked at her. “Just a few minutes,” she said. “Just you and me. I’m tired. Are you tired?”
He nodded and she gestured for him to sit again, which he finally did. “Can you tell me what would help you right now?”
“I’m fine. You should get some sleep.”
“James, everything is okay.”
“It’s not, though, Gabs,” he said. “I tried to kill them. I would have killed you.”
“Because you got attacked and poisoned,” Gabriella said. “I’m not afraid of you.”
His breath hitched and she moved a little closer on the old sofa, still leaving space between them. “Do you want some tea?”
Graham had a decent tea collection. She’d seen it last time she was here and he’d told her to help herself. Before James could refuse, she stood up. “I’m making us some tea.”
She went into the kitchen and filled the kettle, keeping half an eye on James as he sat in the living room. She couldn’t see him as she went to the cabinet, but she didn’t hear the sound of his bedroom door closing and locking, so that was a good sign.
“What do you want?” she called in.
“Anything.”
His voice came from right behind her. Gabriella jumped and gasped and as she turned around, James was moving desperately backward, nearly falling over a chair as he sent it skidding across the floor.
“I’m sorry,” he said, holding up his hands. “I’m sorry, I didn’t-”
“You startled me, that’s all,” she said, furious with herself. “Sit down. I’m going to have…”
Gabriella went back to the cabinet and spotted a box of the apple ginger tea Amelia had introduced her to. “This one. You want some too?”
“Anything but that one.”
The giggle escaped as unexpectedly as the gasp had. She really did need to get some sleep so she could clamp down on these reactions a little better. She turned back to James, who had followed her instructions and sat down at the kitchen table. “You don’t like this stuff?” she asked as she took out a tea bag for herself.
“I hate it.”
How many mugs had Amelia offered him over the past year? How many had he drank? She went back to the cabinet. “Chamomile?” she suggested.
“Thanks.”
As she took out the tea bags, she could feel the tension behind her. “He’s got loose chamomile too,” she offered.
“What’s that?”
Gabriella dug through the impressive amount of tea and pulled out the canister, passing it over to James. “Just the tea itself.”
He took off the lid and shifted the tin container, watching the dried chamomile roll around inside. “Yeah, thanks.”
It wasn’t the food. Nothing he had eaten had been what hurt him. She could see him fighting himself on that. And when she set the steaming mug of tea in front of him a few minutes later, he immediately took a small sip, wincing as it burned his tongue.
“It’s hot,” Gabriella said uselessly.
James stared at the tea for a second and she hoped that maybe he’d have something he wanted to say because she was at a total loss. They both took another too-hot sip of tea.
Maybe he’d eat something. But as she went to the cabinet to see what she could make, she heard him stand up. “I’m going to go back to bed,” he said. “Thanks for the tea.”
“Hang on, I can-”
No, no, she wanted to keep him out here with her, at least for a little while. He was connecting again, the tiniest bit. He was coming back. But when she turned back to the table, James was already leaving the room.
