Ezra didn’t come over the next morning. I was almost surprised to see that he wasn’t there when I came downstairs around nine. Gretel had left earlier and I’d slept in because fuck it, if I was going to be stuck at home one more day, I’d take the opportunity to do so. Me and Gretel had barely spoken before bed. She’d clearly thought I’d overreacted to Joel’s joke, but since he and I had resolved it ourselves, she wasn’t saying anything. 

She also didn’t want me going to work tomorrow, but she didn’t get a say in that. Just like I didn’t get a say in the fact that she’d gone to work today. Just because she was magic didn’t mean that someone else’s magic couldn’t impact her. What was going to keep Declan from going after her to get to me? But of course I hadn’t had a chance to say any of that to her because she’d been out the door before I’d even woken up.

When I got downstairs, I saw Joel sitting in the living room. “Hey!” he called. “I’m leaving in a few, I picked up a gig for a few hours.”

Wow, he’d actually gone through with it. And gig work, no less. “Great,” I said, going into the kitchen and pouring some coffee. “Congratulations.”

“It’s not much,” he said. “There’s a woman clearing out her mother’s attic, and she needs to know which articles are charmed and which aren’t so that she doesn’t accidentally destroy anything.”

Oh, that was going to go poorly. But it was paid. At least…

“She’s paying you, right?”

“Of course she’s paying me.”

He looked almost insulted, but then seemed to remember the other listing Ezra and I had talked him down from. “No Ezra today, then?” I asked.

Was he actually embarrassed? “No,” he said. “He’s working.”

So everyone got to work but me. “Are you concerned about him?”

“He’s not the one Declan’s looking for,” Joel said, looking even more uncomfortable.

“Ah.”

“I’m sorry about this.”

I shrugged, but he kept going. “No, I mean I thought about what you said,” he continued. “About power and all that. And you’re right. There’s no way for you to keep me here, but I can do it to you. And I don’t know how that never occurred to me.”

I knew exactly how it never occurred to him, but I wasn’t in the mood to argue or give a lecture right now. Instead, I sat down in the chair. “I appreciate that,” I said.

It hung awkwardly in the air between us for a few seconds. I looked at Joel. He didn’t look like his usual sparkling self. He looked exhausted, with dark shadows under his eyes that he’d probably magic away before he left for his explosive new job. “Are you okay?” I asked. “I mean, not to be a dick, but…”

I motioned toward my own eyes. Joel looked startled for a second, then laughed. “I’m fine,” he said. “Just a rough night.”

There was no way his guilt kept him up all night, not over that. But before I could decide whether or not to push further, he shook his head. “I keep dreaming about Corman,” he said. “You know…”

He made a slicing motion across his throat. God, it hadn’t even occurred to me that that would be a thing for him. Maybe I had some work to do too. “Yeah?” I asked.

He nodded, looking down at his coffee. “It’s no big deal,” he said quickly.

“He sliced your throat,” I said. “That’s a big fucking deal.”

Joel shrugged. “Gretel fixed it.”

“Yeah, but still. It didn’t look like it was going to work for a little bit. She really had to work at it.”

“Really?”

“It was scary.”

He nodded, but didn’t seem like he wanted to talk about it any further. “Can I be honest with you about something?” I asked.

I didn’t know where this need to spill came from. Maybe it was the fact that he’d just been open with me in a way he hadn’t since we were in college. And maybe I really needed someone to talk to about this.

“Yeah, of course.”

“I don’t know what to do about me and Gretel.”

Joel was the last person I should be talking about this with for so many reasons. Not only was he my ex, and the longest running relationship I ever had, but he was also my roommate. If me and Gretel imploded, what happened to his living situation? But also, we’d been together eight years. We’d been completely in love with each other from seventeen to almost twenty-four. 

And I’d hated him for the way it ended and I’d been justified for that. A month ago I didn’t care if he was alive or dead. The idea of sharing my insecurities and fears about my relationship with Joel of all people should have been laughable.

Not to mention the fact that Reg seemed pretty sure that Joel was still in love with me. Which I wasn’t sure about, but if he was, then wasn’t talking about my current relationship awkward or cruel toward him? But I was suddenly desperate to get this off my chest and Joel seemed more than willing to listen.

For once in his life, he was silent, clearly waiting for me to go on. “It’s the same thing, I guess,” I said. “She’s so sure that she’s right about everything and now that she’s open about her magic, it’s almost impossible for me to go against her if she decides she wants to stop me. And even if she doesn’t, she keeps dismissing me lately, and she never used to. Like she just assumes I’ll be free when she is or that I’ll agree with her on everything. And that’s never been the case, and she’s never been so sure of that before now. I told her I was going to work on accepting magic in our lives and I meant it, because it’s worth it to keep her. But it’s like it doesn’t occur to her that she’s got this power over me, even when I outright told her so the other night. Or it does occur to her, and she doesn’t care.”

My eyes stung as I talked, and I wiped self-consciously at them. “I want this to work, but I can’t be the only one putting in the effort to compromise,” I said.

Joel looked sympathetic and I expected him to jump in with a solution, whether it was a good one or not. But to his credit, he didn’t. “I was thinking about asking her to marry me,” I said, surprising myself as I told him. “She doesn’t know. But I don’t know what to do now.”

He clearly had no idea what to say to that. “I don’t expect you to have a solution,” I said.

“Oh, thank God.”

I actually laughed. “But you can talk to me,” Joel said, almost charmingly awkward. “I mean, if you want to.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that.”

He nodded, then glanced at the clock. “Oh shit,” he said, standing up and draining his coffee. “I have to go. I won’t be long, just a few hours. See you after.”

“I’ll be here.”

***

About an hour and a half later, I was folding laundry in my bedroom. I honestly didn’t mind folding the laundry, especially because Gretel tended to actually do more of it in the washer and dryer we had in the unit. Which I’d never had before this condo. I’d spent years sitting in the laundromat, reading a book or watching the clothes spin around and around before folding it there. But now I could just fold automatically and let my thoughts wander. 

I hadn’t bought a ring yet. I’d been tempted, especially when Gretel had been admiring some jewelry at a craft fair we’d gone to a few months earlier. If I’d had the money and the guts, I would have bought the ring that went with the necklace she’d been gushing over. But I’d had neither – though the money was the bigger factor – and instead I’d taken the crafter’s card and told myself that when the time came, I’d call them for it.

But did I even want to marry her anymore? The thought seemed so cold, especially when I’d done the exact same thing last week. I left the house determined not to talk to anyone, not sure if I wanted this relationship to work out and accepting the possibility that it was over. And then I’d not quite regretted it as soon as I got to the hotel room, but I’d certainly regretted it when I thought Corman was going to murder me in my garden. So was this just more of the same? I’d leave, storm off and go find a place to cool down, then make my way back and apologize? And then just wait for it to all happen again? 

No, that didn’t seem likely. I’d done it before, sure, but I’d had a reason. And neither of us were completely innocent then or now. So if we wanted this relationship to work, then I guess I was going to have to confront her and actually talk about it. Not dance around it or cut off the conversation when it got too painful. But actually sit and discuss where we stood and what we each wanted.

And the last thing I wanted was to have that conversation. Because I had a feeling it wasn’t going to go as well as I hoped it would.

I sighed, tossing some clean socks into a pile to match up after. We’d get through this. If Gretel could just realize how she’d been acting, not just to me but to Ezra as well, then hopefully she’d be alarmed enough to pull back on that quickly. After all, all of us had fucked up in our lives, right? She probably didn’t even realize how much she’d begun trying to control us. 

“Hey!”

I jumped as a familiar voice came through my open bedroom window. I turned around and saw Ezra waving at me from the balcony of the next unit. “Hi!” I called over. “You startled me!”

“Sorry!” he said with a grin. “This place is great! Come over and take a look.”

“Is the agent over there with you?” I asked.

He shook his head. “The landlord let me in. I told him I was interested and a friend of yours, so he said it was fine if I looked around.”

That made sense. Our landlord was a pretty chill guy, all things considered. “Seriously,” he said. “Come check this out! I wanted to show Joel, but he’s not home. The door is open downstairs.”

“Yeah, he’ll be home later,” I said. “Hang on, I’ll be right over.”

I set down the shirt in my hands and hurried downstairs, moving through the empty living room and out the front door. Like Ezra had said, the door to the other unit was open. I walked in, spotting a slightly flipped, completely empty version of our own condo. “Ezra?” I called.

“Up here!”

This unit had a balcony, while mine had a garden. Judging from how it lined up a moment ago, it must be off one of the upstairs bedrooms. I walked up, the stairs creaking underneath me. It smelled clean in here, like someone had been scrubbing to get it ready to rent. Man, if Ezra did rent it and Joel moved in with him, that’d be great. It’d be nice to have neighbors we knew. Gretel and I had been spoiled by the silence of not having to deal with other people.

If this condo was just the reverse of ours, then the balcony was off of what would be Joel’s room. It was the smaller one, which was a bit of a surprise since I’d expect it to be off the main bedroom. But I guess that made it easier to split the rent, since everyone at least got some benefit the other didn’t. Had Joel agreed to apply with him? Was there actually something there? I’d have to talk to him tonight if he survived his new gig.

Ezra was standing out on the balcony, his back to me. He wore the same shirt as yesterday and his hair looked like it must have been freshly dyed.

“Hey.”

He turned and grinned again. “Hey, come check this out.”

I walked out, looking at his hair. It was so much brighter than it had been yesterday, a shade of blue that almost hurt my eyes to look at. I leaned against the wooden railing, looking out over our street and the empty sidewalk below. “What do you think?” I asked.

There was silence beside me and something in my stomach fluttered uneasily. And then it was proven right as I glanced over and it was Declan standing beside me. Ezra and his too-blue hair was gone and Declan looked victorious. 

“Heads up,” he said, grabbing me from behind and tossing me over the railing.

---

Continue to Chapter 14