The next two days went exactly the same way. There was no sign of Declan anywhere, according to Reg’s sources. Every time I even went close to the front door, both Gretel and Joel visibly tensed. And Ezra was over fairly often, though I noticed nobody seemed to have an issue with him going to work the same way they did with me.

“I need to go back to work,” I said to Gretel as we were making breakfast on the third day.

“Just give it a little longer,” she said. “I know you’re frustrated, but it’s for your own safety.”

I set down my knife and took a moment to look out the window and try to breathe through my anger. “Day after tomorrow,” I said. “If he doesn’t show up again by the day after tomorrow, I’m going back to work.”

“Dar-”

“No, Gretel,” I said. “I’m not going to live my entire life stuck in the house because it’s for my own good. What’s good is making my own decisions, like the adult I actually am. I’m older than you are, did you forget that?”

Technically I was only a year older, twenty-eight to her twenty-seven. But that still counted for something when she was treating me like a child. “Just please, give it a little time,” she said.

I nodded. “I’m not hungry,” I said, then walked out of the kitchen before she could say anything else. 

I spent an hour or so in the garden by myself. I couldn’t go to the garden center and get the new flowers I wanted, so instead I was mostly trimming and weeding. There were so many weeds, so I didn’t get even close to finishing. But the flowers I had were dead-headed and the few remaining herbs had been planted. I considered seeing if I could get the furniture into the dumpster behind the chain-link and wood of the back wall. I could maybe get it if someone would pass them up to me while I climbed to the top. But I wasn’t about to go in and ask when someone would inevitably suggest just floating them out.

I had to get more comfortable with casual magic like that. That was part of the deal, a major, major part of the deal. But it would be a lot easier if everyone else could work on getting more comfortable with not treating me like a fucking child because I had no magic of my own. If every floating dish and lightning flash didn’t remind me of this fact, it might be a lot easier to get comfortable with them.

“I made coffee,” Gretel said behind me as I took off my gloves. “Do you want some?” “Thanks.”

The air was thick between us as she handed me a mug of coffee. It was black and good, though still missing that thing that was, unfortunately, probably magic. I took a sip, and she did the same from her own. 

“It looks good out here,” she said.

“Thanks.”

“What do you want to do with the table?”

“Trash it,” I said quickly. “Or sell it, I don’t care. I’m just never going to sit at it again.”

“I’ll ask around work,” she said. “If anyone wants it.”

“Thanks.”

We were silent again, leaning against the flower bed. I was filthy and she looked pristine in her work clothes. “Dar, I just don’t want you to get hurt,” she said.

“I know.”

“He’s too dangerous.”

“So what do we do then?”

Gretel looked at me. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, do we kill him? Do we lock him up in Magic Jail? Like, where does this end?”

“I don’t know. I-”

“I’m not spending the rest of my life in our condo,” I said. “And if there is no plan in place, no endgame, then I don’t know what the alternative is.”

“It’s not for much longer,” Gretel said. 

“You don’t know that.”

I spun toward her, setting down my coffee. “You don’t,” I insisted. “And you can keep telling me it’s not much longer, but unless we’re planning to kill this guy, then you know that’s not true. And believe it or not, so do I. I’ll give it today and tomorrow, but I’m going back to work after that.”

“I don’t think-”

“Babe, I’m not asking your permission.”

She stopped short, and I almost felt bad when I saw the flash of hurt across her face. No, that’s not true. I did feel bad. But it was on top of the immense frustration I’d been feeling for days. “I’m going back to work, the day after tomorrow,” I said. 

“You don’t need to go back,” she argued. “If that’s what you’re worried about. It’s not like you have to go back.”

I looked at her, unsure exactly where this was going. “Yes I do,” I said. “I work there, I have responsibilities.”

“To make sure that some lady’s wedding goes perfectly?” Gretel said.

“Oh, wow.”

“Dar, I’m sorry. I meant-”

“No,” I said. “I know exactly what you meant. What the hell happened, Gretel? You never talked to me like that before this happened.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m just- this scares me, alright? This guy is trying to get to you and it scares me.”

The anger cooled just a little. “But I can’t let him control my whole life,” I said. “Especially when there’s no end in sight. And yeah, I do need to go back to work. It might just be silly little weddings, but they’re my responsibility. And my paycheck.”

“That’s all I meant,” Gretel said. “That if you need to take some more time off, I can cover our expenses.”

“Thank you, but I don’t need to take more time off.”

I could see her reining in her own irritation, trying not to intensify the argument. “Fine,” she relented.

“Thank you.”

I picked up a small trowel that was sitting on the flower bed. “I need to keep weeding though,” I said. “You’re welcome to join me.”

It was a half-joke, but she gave me a forced smile and went back into the house.

***

Ezra was back that evening after Gretel got home from work. He and Joel looked more comfortable around each other than they had even the day before. Nothing quite romantic, but comfortable. Sitting close on the couch with an easy posture. It was nice, even if I was still a little apprehensive. Yeah, Joel had shown how much he’d grown and I’d been telling the truth when I told Ezra he wasn’t a bad guy. But I also spent so many years just hating him that it was hard to fully let the apprehension go.

We were just hanging out, drinking wine and talking, though the conversation had tapered off. I was bored, so I’d been half-assedly looking at the apartment listings that came into my inbox from an alert I’d set up several years ago. But then I opened a familiar one.

“Looks like they’re finally renting out the other unit,” I said, scrolling through the listing.

“It’s weird it’s been empty for so long,” Gretel said. “He hasn’t had anyone doing construction or anything. You’d think…”

She trailed off and I nodded, still reading the listing. “I’m looking for a new place,” Ezra said. 

“Oh, you should move in there!” Joel exclaimed over the rim of his third glass of wine.

“Dar, what’s the rent?” Ezra called over.

I read it out to him, and he laughed slightly. “That’s not happening.”

“Wouldn’t that be great though?” Joel said. “Or, like, you and I could have that one and Gretel and Dar could have this one.”

Ezra turned dark red and I had to force myself not to smile. Joel clearly didn’t notice at all. “Maybe it’s worth checking out,” Ezra said.

“There’s a number in the listing to set up an appointment to tour it,” I told him.

“Or I could pick the lock and we could all go over right now,” Joel offered.

“No way,” I said.

“It’s only a little magic.”

I knew he was just a little drunk and teasing and trying to cheer me up. He just fucking sucked at it. “I’m sure our landlord would love us breaking into his other unit,” I said, instead of snapping at him like I wanted to.

“We could check it out,” Gretel said.

I turned to her now. Unlike Joel, she’d stopped after a single glass. “I don’t think it’s a good idea,” I said. “He might have cameras in there. Plus, aren’t you the one who keeps saying I should stay here?”

“We’d still be in the building,” she said, waving me off. “You’re fine.”

“Cameras,” I repeated. “He would.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Gretel relented with a laugh. “He totally would.”

It was still awkward, but at least the worst of the tension had broken. “How great would that be, though?” Joel asked.

I had to admit, it would be nice. But before the conversation could continue, Ezra accidentally bumped his wine. It fell off the coffee table and landed on the rug, leaving a spreading dark stain on the pale green.

“Shit, I’m so sorry!” he exclaimed.

Joel waved over the stain and it immediately shrank and dried up. “Don’t worry about it,” he said. 

Ezra glanced over at me. Joel noticed his gaze and followed. “Yeah, Dar’s not the biggest fan of magic. She’s great though. Oh, you know what we could do? One apartment magic, one not!”

He was joking. He was so clearly teasing me, but tell that to the fury that set in so quickly that it left me shaking with rage. “This is my home,” I snapped.

Joel’s smile faded. “I know,” he said. “I didn’t-”

“Yes, you fucking did,” I said. “I’m trying to be a good sport and not get weird about magic, even when I have some good fucking reasons to not trust it. And you’re here saying maybe I should leave my home if I don’t like it?”

“I was just kidding.”

He was stammering now, but I was about to cry. “Dar, it was a joke,” Gretel said softly.

I got up and hurried out of the room, rushing through the kitchen and toward the back garden, letting the door slam shut behind me.

Not for the first time, I wished there was an exit from the garden. But I was surrounded by walls on all sides and too shaky to climb those walls, even if I wanted to. So instead, I stayed at the far end with my back to the house, trying not to cry.

Everyone had made me feel so mean and demanding because I was uncomfortable with magic. No, be honest, Dar, I told myself. Because I hated magic. Because magic gave them all power over me and no one seemed to want to admit that. But it had been less than a week and I already felt helpless and trapped in my own home. And no one grasped that. 

They all thought I was being unreasonable. And maybe I was. Maybe I just needed to stop my angsting about all of this and get past it. But that wasn’t happening tonight.

Because I couldn’t go back inside, I did the same thing I always did when I was upset. I got my trowel and started weeding the box I’d started earlier, but hadn’t finished. But it was only about two minutes later when I heard footsteps.

“I’m sorry.”

Joel was behind me. I wiped my eyes. “It’s fine,” I lied, without turning around.

“I swear I was joking, but it was a really bad joke.”

I didn’t answer. He was right, it was a bad joke. And I wasn’t sure how much was me overreacting versus him making a shitty joke. 

“You invited me to stay, I shouldn’t make jokes like that,” he continued. “And I know I’m the one who made you hate magic.”

If it hadn’t been for the fact that he had already apologized for that just days earlier, I would have been shocked at this level of self-reflection from Joel. I looked over. He was standing by the door, hands in his pockets, shame-faced. “I don’t know how to fix that.”

“It’s not up to you to fix,” I said, setting down the trowel. “It’s the power differences, they’re terrifying.”

“Why?”

I laughed. “Why?” I repeated. “Joel, less than a week ago, you transported me from the living room up to my bedroom against my will. You kept me from leaving my house and Gretel let it happen. Both of you completely disregarded my bodily autonomy and freedom to move around. I can’t do that to you. How is that not terrifying?”

“I didn’t think of that.”

“Of course you didn’t. But you need to.”

He nodded, then looked around the space. “Is there anything I can help you with out here?”

“No. I just…no magic,” I said. “This is the one space in the house that nobody else really cares about and I just need one space without magic. This is it.”

“Right.”

I waited for him to go inside, but instead, he sat down on the edge of the flower box, across from me, and began pulling out weeds one by one, tossing them aside as he went. I watched for a second, then kept going too.

---

Continue to Chapter 13